That or WBP fucked up my whole life, too - specifically with the "you're not in love with Leo" bit. Maybe it was because he made fun of my sister from another mother though.
Man, I don't fucking know anymore. Maybe there is a part of me that sympathizes with someone acting out - perhaps acting even reprehensibly. I've done that. I have been truly disgusting and hateful and violent. When I think about it, I still hate myself for much of it. I was absolutely 100% an abuser for a time.
But I can't keep doing this. I can't keep hanging onto something I can't have. Get busy living or get busy dying. God damn right.
You do realize that I forget about all of you for long stretches. I came home to be here for MeMaw and my dad, but I can't even get that right. My dad lives 2 hours away and I can't even get out there to see him because of my car problems.
I'm fucking done. Done with all of it. I have to let go - let go permanently - for my own mental health. For my own sense of self and self-fucking-respect.
If Brad G from Canada or Lukas N from Austin need help writing songs, please let me know.
I still love "A Star is Born."
5:48 a.m. - 2022-09-29
Recent entries:
Reminder and Clarity Required - 2022-09-30
Transcendence - 2022-09-29
Lord I Say a Little Prayer to You - 2022-09-29
Are You Fucking Kidding Me? - 2022-09-29
His Gift - 2022-09-29
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