2002-05-13 - 12:59 a.m.

Mr. Louisiana�s phone call Friday evening was nothing more than a damned accident. I should have known this. I get those calls all the time, my name starting with an �A� and all. Damnit. Damnit. DAMNIT!

After the goodnight hug the night of the �Cuckoo�s Nest� play, I thought for sure I wouldn�t hear from Wiley Coyote again. Told myself he was gay and that he knew I knew he was gay when I started introducing random, non-smoking male co-workers to him on the smoke patio. (Actually, everyone just wanted to meet this crazy guy and leaned on me to get it done for them.)

Low and behold, he emailed me. We�ve been hanging out and e-mailing each other, and he even pulled a telephone stunt with me this week. He pretended to be the owner of a towing yard in South Dallas. It seems they have rusty nails all over the yard, and the risk of tetanus is high. He thought maybe he should buy some insurance. When I told him we didn�t handle �that kind� of insurance, he went into a rage about how we whiteys were always trying to keep the black man down. I played along as best I could (we had a bad connection), but knew it was him from the start because he introduced himself as Rufus.

Rufus Coyote did NOT like the movie �Unfaithful.� And I had to listen to him tell me to �heet heem� in his best of French impressions for the rest of this evening. Apparently, the movie was disturbing because it seemed very realistic. Hmm�I should be the expert at this. Yes, it was realistic. The damned woman didn�t want to cheat on her husband, she just got caught up in it all. I know a few women (er, me) and men (er, Mr. Louisiana) who have had the same problem. The movie ended miserably, though, so now I�m worried someone is going to kill me, the �other woman,� when confronted with the truth about her lying, untrustworthy husband. Until now, I haven�t felt guilty or responsible. Damn that Adrian Lynne. I liked the unrealistic ending of Fatal Attraction much better (not because it was a better ending but because it did not question my decisions.) Ho hum�.maybe this is why I had such trouble achieving orgasm tonight�.

I want you to "heet me" as hard as you can....

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