powered by SignMyGuestbook.com

Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2020-04-25 - Ladies Light it Up Club

I have been staring endlessly into space thinking about how life comes full circle, cycles repeat, and I have let my family - the one I was born with and the one I made - down.

If I owe you an amends, apology or even a pay-it-forward, I am ready to listen. You are welcome to post all the short-sighted, lack of focus, head in my own world overall lack of presence. I owe everyone a heart-felt apology, especially Team Rachel.

My bingo family, especially two ladies in particular, is what keeps me real and reminds me how much farther I have come than the daywith them in my life.

They have listened to me as I have droned on incessantly, but I've had my head in the clouds too long because it is my escape from some of my deepest fears. But wallowing in sorrow, fear, anxiety, depression and the things we use to modulate those complex feelings makes it difficult to accept, and experience joy, happiness and the right kind of love. Big love. Big big, love.

A relationship based on fear and your worst habits is just stupid, immature love. There are no easy solutions to cleaning up the messes we've made, but there is always time for gratitude for those who have helped us along the way.

I have always had ambitions, my head in the clouds, and getting older makes it harder to find a calling and your place in life. I was never Captain or President material, but I make an excellent Lieutenant, and hopefully a First Lady and Queen of Hearts like my sisters from another mother.

I'm sorry I've forgotten those who gave me such a loving and FUN place to work to put food in my belly, a drag in my cigarette -- rides to and from work - and on a good day, maybe even an iced tea or glass of Miraval. I haven't quite figured that out yet.

Everyone needs a dream. Everyone needs hope. Everyone is worthy of love, even Stupid Love. I am putting all my focus and energy into the dream.

Because Lord, this one here just ain't too bright sometimes. I'm a little slow on the uptake and it takes me several tries to accept something this profound.


Call it a Vision board. Call it a Prophecy. Call it a life's best journeys celebration where amazing women get together and celebrate each other for exactly who we are, who we have become, and who we've yet to be, and where women suffering from cancer can receive tailored holistic, therapeutic, preventive mastectomies and charity-funded reconstructions. Healing spa-like services with saunas/massage/reflexology.

We do this in memory of every life lost from cancer and for women who have THE BEST POSSIBLE CHANCE of beating it altogether.

Women helping women become their best selves is my Fight Club/Dance Club/Life Club/Love Club. It even sounds like a Lady Gaga song.

But when our best ideas are on the line, we won't hesitate to bring out our secret Tyler Durden approved weapons. It just might land in your ear.

More to follow

Life is a cycle of birth, growth, decline and death with suffering the world over being a common denominator. We can't fix everything, so we must focus on what we can. This we can do and it is our gift to the world. Snowflakes can suck it.

we know, for sure, but between us, women are the true creative force and energy it's really hard work providing the masses valuable, worthwhile entertainment. Let's the little girl die and let's life a life worthyLet's not tear each other

It will be self-sufficient growing biodynamic pink wine of the whose proceeds cure

Losing some of your faculties will do that to you. I've always been jealous of men aging like fine wine.

Well, ladies, let's just make wine and fabulous face creams, music, movies and songs and run a holistic winery and healing destination for women diagnosed with or surgically altering their breasts to prevent cancer. And never, ever take those we love for granted mothers for granted because none of us is promised

I have acted like a piece of shit. It's okay, Luke. You can say it. I've been an asshole. I endeavor to be worthy of you, but right now I'm just putting one step ahead at a time.


previous - next


about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!