Setbacks upon setbacks upon setbacks. Basic and most pertinent goal once again relegated to the bottom of an endless list of things I cannot afford.
Daily pain fallout from attack of the dog. Arthritis and bursitis of knees. Arthritis and stress fractures of both feet. Walking is torture, even in my expensive, gifted OrthoFeet.
Hole in my heart from my lost father. The only upside to Pit Bull attack was recovering in large part at my father’s side before he ascended the proverbial ladder. Succumbed to lung cancer in the end. His parting gift an RV to call “home for now.” And a truck with 300k miles to pull it. Of course, as is about par, said truck requires repairs out of my pocketbook. And this is after Mazda with similar mileage spent a month in shop costing significantly more than a single paycheck. It drives again but is still terrifying to drive.
Doctor says my memory is fine but my brother disagrees. He sees me more. I’m inclined to agree.
Ex-husband still fighting against foreclosure of home in both our names taking my good name with it.
The fallout from the amnesia is 10 years in the making. Unpaid taxes. Unfulfilled potential. Unmitigated reliance on others. Existential depression. Unrelenting procrastination of trysts with would-be lovers.
An aching, burning desire for love and music in a culture where pleasure is paramount and the landscape breathes majesty. A promise unfulfilled.
And the terror of waking from that dream.
3:31 p.m. - 2024-02-21
Recent entries:
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Ghosts Again - 2024-02-22
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Ghosts Again - 2024-02-22
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