I had to move him back to sober for my mom and the kids, but I did it for you and then and just got confused. I'm sorry. I just got lost along the way. I got my signals crossed. I get things backwards. I get them confused, even when they're laid out bare. That's why I disappear. I don't know how to find my way home. I'm lost in a maze of amnesia and I'm actually pretty angry about it, but instead of being angry, I'm trying to find the silver linings in things and not take things for granted. But the truth is I do get lost and if the story ended abruptly, like a dream, I might have gotten lost altogether.
Because I swear I fell in love with someone, and he was my co-hort and partner in crime. And he has my back.
Someone remind me of the truth...the truth I knew long, long ago but chose to forget because I didn't think I was good enough and I didn't want someone I loved to suffer.
I spent so long circulating around the truth for so long - never really knowing what was real and what was true. I loved "A Star is Born," but I swear the one track I can't get out of my head is Gaga's Million Reasons, and I made a damn promise.
I admit I love no one. I'm not crazy enough to pretend I'm having some mad love affair with someone in order to keep me sober. That would be silly. That would be exactly what Marla would do.
Marla - the bump on the tip of your tongue that would heal if you'd only quit biting it.
And no one is biting me. Well, except the pussycat. :)
1:12 a.m. - 2021-08-10
Recent entries:
Hands and Hearts - 2021-08-15
Maladjustment Disorder - 2021-08-13
I am so damn angry.... - 2021-08-13
Stars Are Moving... - 2021-08-11
Waiting on your next move... - 2021-08-11
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