I wish I could explain living with amnesia in a way people could understand. Apart from the million and one deja vu experiences that have perpetually reinforced confabulations in my memory since its onset six years ago (I think); I'm pretty sure it's been about that long, which brings me to another interesting point: I have noticed that I tend to engage in employment and other non-vocational activities and other non-romantic relationships relationships in either two or six year stints. Bingo was 2 years off and on including college and after, and bingo was where I met Misty which led to BCBS. I was there for two years plus, then so was Lynn Clark/Allmerica Financial for about the same time. Then Claimsnet.com for right around two or two and a half years, until I got to Hailstone where I stayed for six years. After that, I think I managed my own business for about four years before I lost my mind, and the bulk of the recovery took two years, and now it has been another four to get where I am today. And what a beating I have taken. But do not feel sorry for me - ever. I mean that. The last fucking thing I want is your pity.
I'm am, however, most grateful for any empathy you may feel that may cause you to want to fund my endeavors - be they educational, charitable, literary, short films, commercials, or just for fun. I tend to prefer the role of a "ghost' as I go to great lengths to avoid notoriety and the expectations or pressure that comes along with maintaining a career in the public eye. I'm more than happy to take a backseat even though I prefer front-row seats wherever I'm invited - to whichever kind of show may call. I'm looking for inspiration and maybe a few tools to get started? Please let me know how I can thank you if you were to become my patron. This is Marla, by the way.... And we are not a bunch of man-haters We're just women leaning on women to get real good shit done or to "affect positive change" if you prefer... We embrace the light within and about us We value basic tenets of science, reason and logic but ascribe to faith in a higher power governing the universe, both within and about us. Because frankly, otherwise we would go batshit crazy from the female hormones or lack thereof alone. As far as which higher power, to each his own. All are welcome. We may, at times, recruit superhero men to help us achieve certain organization-wide objectives. Male "friends" of the organization operate on a need-to-know basis only. They are simply not privy to inner fight club secrets, membership information, operational objectives or money matters unrelated to any specific financing or charitable contributions they may make to any projects that may be created from Female Fight Club founding members. Let's light the way toward knowledge, compassion, freedom and creativity for a better world for all humankind. I need new memories to hang on to. I fear bad times are coming even though I'm back on my meds. James's unemployment is running out soon. It's making me nervous, and I'm acting out a bit with my temper and such. It don't take much to make me yell! I'm a civilized girl living in a civilized hell.
4:48 a.m. - 2021-07-31
Recent entries:
Waiting on your next move... - 2021-08-11
I Can Handle the Truth - 2021-08-10
Help 911 - 2021-08-10
Honoring Art and Finding Oneself Through It - 2021-08-05
Well allow me to retort.... - 2021-08-04
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